No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
MIDGETS
????
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
