Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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