ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
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