ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
