Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
