I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize