i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
