I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
