She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
