You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
