Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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