So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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