The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You dont lie about slip and slides
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
