Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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