I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize