goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
