ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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