Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
