I think my fart just growled at me.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
