i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
