You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
