I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
