What a fucking waste of an outfit
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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