All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
