okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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