i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
