I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
