Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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