he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
