The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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