All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize