your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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