Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
