I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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