Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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