he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have already put on my inside pants.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
