When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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