So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
