I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
