Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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