just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We're too hungover to prance.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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