giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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