I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
