So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
