Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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