Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
