You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
