He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
