Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
