you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
