This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
