she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize