just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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