I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
