are you so shy because you have an std?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
