I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
