I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
