i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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