her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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