i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
