So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
