I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
